the problem with me is

that i never really remember things right. I always judge things by how they end.
for example
today...played with my sister. watched 2 hours of Hannah Montana. Ate ice cream. Hung out with Denee. Had dinner with boyfriend. Saw Vicky Christina Barcelona (seriously go see it, it was amazing). But then it ended on this really bad note, where I started getting annoyed because Rudy scared me, and then kept gloating, and then I just realized it was my last day of summer and it was a good day on any other terms, but just totally not how I wanted to end my summer.
so, now, of course, my summer doesn't seem how I wanted it to be.
even though
-my daddy came back safely from Iraq
-I had a really good time camping with friends
-I made several new friends
-I hung out with Veronica more than ever
-Sydney learned how to say my name
-I did ALOT of shopping
-I've maintained several friendships, which is in general hard for me
-I got a tattoo

but now I just feel like...it wasn't as great as it could be if my boyfriend didn't hate me when I was drunk, or if I wasn't afraid to make new friends, or if I didn't ever really know what I wanted. and now i have to fucking work on Saturday for my sister, so she can have a really good last weekend of summer, and then on Sunday I get to work again, and basically i am going to be nonstop w/ school and work until Friday. and i'm not the least bit excited for school to start. I haven't been secretly thinking about outfits to wear, or who I hope to get into my classes, or how cool it will be to get back into the swing of things. I think this is the first time in my life where I haven't been at all scared or excited for school.